It's Complicated
by CaptainSparrow09
Summary: When are you going to tell him'Tell him what Alexx'That you love him.'I don't love him.'Mhmm. You just a kid together, live together, but you don't love him.'It's just easier this way.'It's complicated this way' According to Alexx, things are complicated
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own anyone you don't recognize. Everyone else belongs to Anthony Zuiker

A/N: This chapter is in Calleigh's POV and when's she narrating her thoughts will be in Italics.

S/C---------

I glance up and see Tim leaning in the doorway of the break room. I give him a small smile and he returns it, just standing there watching me. Alexx, Eric, and Horatio are too busy talking about me to realize our exchange. I know Tim is thinking about what we've been through for the past few months. Well... nine months really.

_------S/C--------_

_It had begun innocently enough. Just a night out to the movies. We weren't even alone. Eric had been with us. I invited them back to my place and we had a couple of drinks. Eric left early. He had work the next morning while Tim and I had our first day off in weeks. We had a couple more drinks and before I knew what was going on, we were making out on my couch. That led to more... intimate things and when I woke up the next morning he was gone. Obviously he had realized what we had done and gone before I could kill him. _

_He ignored my calls and ignored me at work two days later. Things slowly went back to normal for us. We were best friends and we had our moments where we needed each other's shoulder to lean on. But a month and a half later... things became a bit awkward again. _

Tim saw Calleigh sitting in the locker room and walked in.

"Hey, you want to come to my place tonight and watch a movie?" he asked.

"No." she mumbled, shaking her head. Look what happened the last time they watched a movie together.

"You okay?" Tim sat down next to her and Calleigh looked up at him, a shocked look on her face. Her cell phone was hanging limply in her hand. "Is everything okay?"

"It will be... I mean I guess it will be." she replied cryptically. "Oh wow..."

"Cal, you're scaring me."

She stared into his dark eyes and took a deep breath.

"Um... I really don't know what to tell you." she stammered. "Tim... um... remember when you, me, and Eric went to the movies and we went back to my place?"

"Yeah..."

"And um... Eric left and it was just you and me and we ended up... sleeping together?"

Tim sat in silence, digesting the information. The words 'sleeping together' echoed in his mind, the shocked look on Calleigh's face would haunt his dreams for a while, and his detective skills came into play...

"Oh shit." he mumbled. "I... we... didn't... you... are you pregnant?"

Calleigh bit her lip and nodded. Tim dropped his head into his hands and groaned loudly. Him, a father. That did not worry him. Oh who the hell was he kidding? It scared the shit out of him! But... they weren't married... they weren't engaged... hell they weren't even dating! This was the end product of a one night stand!

"Calleigh..."

"Look, I know you're not happy about this."

Tim would've agreed with her but it would've been lying. He was happy about it.

"Um... are you happy about it?"

Calleigh looked like she got slapped in the face. Tim slowly moved away from her. He didn't want her thinking he was happy about it when she was angry and wanted to kill him.

"I was shocked at first. I mean, we didn't expect this to happen but yes I am happy!"

"Calleigh, I'm not used to the idea of me... being a father but you uh... you know I'm right there with you 100 percent right?"

"I don't want you to."

"But I want to!"

"No you don't!" Calleigh exclaimed. "I don't want you to feel like you have to be there for the baby."

_I knew I wanted Tim to be a part of this. He was there for every doctor's appointment, even when I told him he didn't have to. He went baby shopping with me. He painted and set up the nursery. He even went an extra yard and did something I didn't expect. _

"Dad!" Calleigh exclaimed, walking into the break room. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just checking up on you." Kenwall smiled. "How's the baby?"

"Fine." Calleigh smiled, putting a hand on her slightly swollen stomach. She noticed the uncomfortable look on Tim's face and that his leg was bouncing. "Daddy, can you let me and Tim talk for a few minutes?"

"Sure sweetie." he nodded and glared at Tim over his shoulder. When he left the room, Calleigh sat down next to Tim. He smiled slightly at her and rested a hand on her stomach.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Just writing up some reports." Calleigh said, a bored look on her face. After they had found out about the baby, Tim didn't let her go to any crime scenes. She was restricted to lab work.

"Oh. I'm sorry that I want you and our child safe." he grinned. "Listen, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"I... you know I'm here for you and the baby. You're my best friend Calleigh and this was a total shock for us but we've gotten used to the idea. I uh... I always want to be there for you. Will you marry me?"

"No." Calleigh shook her head and Tim bowed his slightly. "No. Tim, you don't want to marry me. I know you don't. I don't want you feeling pressured by my father either. I don't want you having to do anything you don't want to do. Yes being married would be nice but I don't want to be married just because we have a baby together."

_Oh deep down, I did want to become Mrs. Timothy James Speedle. Hell, I wanted to become his wife from the second I laid eyes on him. But I wanted the feeling to be mutual and I knew that... well I thought that he didn't want to marry me. Nonetheless my father was pissed beyond imaginable. I didn't worry about it then. Tim was already being a wonderful father, I didn't need a ring on my finger to prove that. After a long time of waiting, at least it felt that way to me, the baby finally came. _

Tim winced as Calleigh squeezed his hand tightly.

"I hate you." she mumbled.

"I know." Tim nodded. "You've told me."

"Okay Calleigh, just one more push." the nurse said.

"You keep saying that!" she cried. Tim stifled his laughter and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Come on Cal. You can do this. You made it this far." he said quietly.

"I can't!"

"Yes you can. What happened to you being all... ow Calleigh, sweetie, that's my hand."

She bit back a retort and put all of her energy into pushing instead. After a few more minutes Calleigh glared at Tim.

"This is all your fault."

"Hey, you were there too." he said defensively.

"Calleigh, you're doing good. Just one more push and the baby is here, honestly this time." her doctor said. She nodded and Tim braced himself for another debilitating squeeze. It came as Calleigh pushed, not focusing on his pained expression at all. Tim felt her hand loosen on his when a cry was heard. "It's a girl!"

Tim stared in awe at the baby that had been placed on Calleigh's stomach.

"Wow..." he mumbled, looking at Calleigh. She gave him a weak smile and he kissed her lightly. She pushed away the spark that she felt and registered the kiss as a congratulatory kiss. 'Yeah right Calleigh.' she thought.

"I can't believe she's here."

"Neither can I. You did real good Cal." Tim smiled.

"Are you crying?" she asked, seeing the tear roll down his cheek.

"Maybe." he grinned as the nurse took the baby to get cleaned up. "She's beautiful, just like you."

"She has your hair." Calleigh replied, leaning back into the pillows.

_-------S/C--------_

I take Christine from Alexx and walk over to the door. Tim's smile widens when he sees our daughter.

"Who's this Chrissy? Is this Daddy?" I coo lightly, handing her over. She opens her green eyes and they meet Tim's chocolate ones, the ones I always seem to lose myself in. I can hear the three conspirers behind me even though they think I can't.

"Hey." Tim smiles down at Christine. He stares at her for a couple of seconds, kisses her forehead, then turns his attention to me, "What are you doing here?"

"I was bored." I reply, stroking Christine's head softly. "Decided to take a ride. Ended up here."

"Oh."

Alexx sighs happily behind us and I continue to let them think I can't hear them.

"They're perfect together." Eric mumbles.

"Wish they'd realize that already." Horatio adds quietly. I smile to myself and want to tell Horatio that I do realize but it will never happen, even though I wish it so much.


	2. Chapter 2

Tim walked into Calleigh... well their house and was shocked to find her rushing around.

"Did you lose the baby?" he joked, setting his holster, cell phone, and beeper on the counter.

"No. Remember those earrings you bought me for my birthday a few years back?" Calleigh asked. Now Tim was the typical alpha male and stared at her.

"I got you earrings for your birthday?"

"Yes! The dangly diamond ones!"

"Oh... I thought you threw them out. What about them?"

"Well as you can see Mr. CSI, I have only one of them one. Do you know where the other is?" Calleigh asked. Tim kept a straight face. If she didn't know where it was, how the hell did she expect him to know?

"Oh wait, yeah I do. It's in my secret jewelry box that's hidden until I go cross-dressing." he said. Calleigh smacked him lightly on the arm.

"Then give it back." she laughed.

"How the hell do I know where it is? I've only lived here a few months." Tim called from the living room. "Where's Chrissy?"

"My mom took her for the night." Calleigh replied, walking in. "She set me up on a blind date."

Tim stared at the TV, hoping the shock wasn't visible on his face.

"I uh... I thought you said you were dating until the baby was older."

"Well my mom figured it's been four months. She said, and I quote, that you were never going to get off your ass and propose so she was just going to have to find me a husband herself."

"Oh."

"Tim, I told her we're not... involved like that."

"So why'd she take the baby? I'm not capable of being a father when you're not around?" he snapped.

"No... actually I asked her to."

"Why?"

"What happened to your date tonight?"

"Huh? Oh Jan... uh... we split."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Calleigh said quietly, looking around. "Dammit, I'll just wear another pair."

"So did she tell you who this guy was?"

"No but..." the doorbell rang.

"Is he coming here?" Tim asked.

"My mom..."

"Your mom, your mom, your mom." Tim muttered. Calleigh gave him a look and went to the door and opened it.

"Calleigh!"

"Oh my... Mike?" she asked. The Brad Pitt look-a-like, well he looked that way to Tim at least, nodded and walked in.

"I just moved here and I saw your mom at the store. She said we should get together."

"Yes she did..." Calleigh trailed off. She felt Tim's presence behind her and saw the confused look on Mike's face.

"She didn't say you were seeing anyone..."

"Oh no!" Calleigh laughed lightly. "Mike, this is Tim Speedle. Tim, this is Mike Hoffman."

"Nice to meet you." Tim was the bigger man and extended his hand. Mike shook it stiffly and looked at Calleigh, who glanced up at Tim. "I just stopped by to uh... get back a DVD. I'll be going home now."

Calleigh held back a sigh, knowing he was either go back to the lab or going to Eric's.

S/C-------

"We do have work in the morning." Eric said, watching Tim down another beer.

"I don't give a shit." he slurred.

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Because Calleigh is with some jackass!"

"Where's Christine?"

"With Elizabeth." Tim muttered. "You know what she told Calleigh?"

"What?"

"That I would never propose so she was going to find her a husband herself. What a crock of shit because you know what? You know what Eric?"

"What Speed?"

"I did propose to her. I did and she thought I was doing it because she was pregnant so she said no. Hell no. I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember. She thinks that I don't care about her or Christine, that I'm only there because I feel like I have to. I don't have to. I need to. They're my whole life. She doesn't know how much I love Christine and her. God, I love them so much. Calleigh, I love so much..." Tim let his head flop down onto the table and Eric sighed and pulled the empty bottle out of his hand.

"Time for bed." he said. "Speed, you want to sleep there tonight?"

"Whatever bro." he mumbled. Eric shook his head and turned the light off, then went to bed.

S/C------

Tim pulled his truck into the driveway and was not surprised to see Mike's car still there.

"Just add to my headache." he muttered, walking up the sidewalk to the door. He put his key in the door but Calleigh opened it. "I need my clothes for work."

"What the hell happened to you?"

"I had some fun last night. Just like you." Tim smiled. "I need my clothes for work."

"I've heard. I expected you to call."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was worried."

"Oh so when you were in the middle of moaning out Mike's name, you were really thinking about mine?" Tim smirked, pushing past her into their house.

"You're a real ass you know that Speedle?"

"Mhmm. So where is he?"

"He left last night."

"His car is still here."

"It broke down so I called him a taxi. The tow truck hasn't come by yet." Calleigh explained as Tim went into the kitchen. "How's your hangover?"

"I don't have a hangover."

"That's why you're searching for the aspirin like a madman."

"I happen to have a headache."

"Yeah those come after you down seven bottles of Corona."

"Eric called you didn't he?"

"He figured he'd let me know your whereabouts since you weren't ready to tell me. So just because your date decided not to come and I had a good time last night, you have to get drunk?"

"Oh so you did have a good time." Tim sneered, popping the tiny tablets into his mouth. He swallowed them and gave Calleigh a pointed stare. "Is he nice?"

"He's friendly."

"Did he kiss you?"

"On the cheek. Jealous?"

"No. Does he know about everything?"

"I don't want to scare him off so soon." Calleigh smiled. "Go get ready for work."

S/C-------

"When are you telling him?"

"Telling him what Alexx?"

"That you love him."

"I don't love him."

"Mhmm, you just have a kid together, live together, but you don't love each other."

"It's easier this way."

"It's complicated this way." Alexx smiled. Calleigh hid a smile and looked at her.

"Can we please get to work?"

"Calleigh, how long are you going to go on like this?"

"I'm with a guy."

"Tim?"

"Alexx..."

"I'm sorry. Go on."

"He's nice and I... it may be serious."

"How serious?"

"I don't know." Calleigh waved her hand as if to brush it off. "If Horatio doesn't find us working then I may not have a job anymore."

Alexx sighed and they got down to business. What was she going to have to do to make Calleigh come to her senses?


	3. Chapter 3

Calleigh stood outside of Trace, a dreamy look on her face as she was Tim work.

"Wishing for something?" Eric grinned, walking by.

"Haha." Calleigh said dryly. Eric winked at her and she rolled her eyes at him, then walked into Trace. "Hey Daddy."

"Hey Mommy." Tim smirked. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk."

"Well if you're going to talk then you can do some swabs too." Tim waved a few envelopes at her. Calleigh sighed dramatically and sat down next to him. They worked in silence for a few minutes until Tim spoke. "I thought you were going to talk."

"Listen,"

"I am."

"Shut up. Last night... you should not have done what you did."

"You're not my mother."

"No but I am our daughter's mother and I don't need you setting a horrible example for her. You never drink Tim."

"So?" he muttered, standing up. He put a few swabs into a machine and sat back down.

"Just because I'm seeing someone..." Calleigh started again.

"Calleigh, it wasn't about that. Eric and I decided to have some fun."

"Eric seemed pretty sober when he called me. You, on the other hand, he said you were passed out on his kitchen table!"

"I wasn't passed out." Tim defended. Calleigh gave him a look.

"You may think I'm stupid but I'm not."

"I don't think that."

"Mhmm, sure. Tim, Mike is a nice guy."

"You've dated him before haven't you?"

"In high school. When I went to Tulane, we split."

"Oh how sweet. You found your true love again." Tim sneered, sliding his stool over to the printer.

"You're just jealous." Calleigh stuck her tongue at him.

"No I'm not." 'Yes you are Speed.' he thought. Calleigh sighed and walked over to where he was.

"You know, just because I don't love you,"

"Gee, thanks Cal."

"I do love you, just like I love Eric and Horatio," she smiled. 'Liar.' "But you're gonna have to understand that I will being seeing guys and one day finding the right guy, and then getting engaged, and then getting married..."

It took all Tim had not to say that she could've had that already.

"But you're still going to be living in the same city for God's sake, and Christine is your daughter. I'm not going to get married and move off to Alaska and never let you see her again."

"I know."

"Then why are you all like, 'grr... if I'm not going to marry her then no one can!'"

"I didn't say that."

"You're acting like it."

"Did you tell Mike?"

"You asked me this this morning!"

"I know but I thought maybe you called him." Tim muttered. Calleigh sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"I will... eventually."

"Calleigh, he would rather you be honest with him."

"He's a really nice guy Tim and well... I would like to think that something could come of this. But switch places with Mike for a second. Say he was my best friend and got me pregnant after a drunken night and you were my ex-boyfriend from high school that my mother set up on a blind date. Would you want me to say, 'oh yeah I forgot. I have a daughter and the guy that bolted out of the house when we first saw each other was her father, who really lives here with us?'"

"I wouldn't care because you're an amazing woman and I would get past it." Tim smirked. Calleigh smacked the back of his head. Tim winced as he read a few printouts.

"You know," Calleigh started, playing with Tim's hair, "people think our life is complicated."

"Why are you touching me?"

"Because you have curly hair and don't have to do anything to get it! I have to sit for hours to get my hair curly."

"I'm sorry that I'm special." Tim teased.

"Yes but as I was saying, people think our life is complicated."

"It's not complicated."

"It's not complicated to us because it works." Calleigh said quietly. "Can I straighten your hair when we get home?"

"No you cannot. Of course it works. We... we work well together."

"Yes... Timmy, you'd look cute with straight hair."

"Shut up about my hair and don't ever call me Timmy again."

Calleigh smirked and went on.

"We do make a good team huh?"

"Yeah we do." Tim agreed. They went into a lapse of silence and Tim sighed, feeling Calleigh's fingers still in his hair. "You're still playing with my hair."

"If we straighten it I could braid it!"

"You're scaring me."

S/C---------

"You know, you could just tell her." Eric said. Tim shook his head, swallowing a mouthful of soda.

"No. She's happy."

"Oh how... noble."

"Shut up."

"You never know Speed. She could feel the same." Alexx said.

"Who invited you into this conversation? Actually, I didn't know we were having this conversation."

"Why are you so stubborn?" Eric asked. Tim sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Listen to me. Both of you. We just talked. She doesn't love me. She told me. We feel the same way about each other."

"Well if saying you don't love each other is what we're calling it nowadays..."

"Eric, I don't love her!"

"You were singing a different song last night."

"Shut up. Don't bring that up. I'm serious Delko."

"What did you say last night?" Alexx pried. Tim glared at Eric, who smirked.

"Well he was drunk and you know, alcohol can make a person open up. He said he— hey Cal."

"Hi." she smiled. "What are we talking about?"

"Nothing of importance." Tim replied. Eric and Alexx rolled their eyes at each other. Calleigh gave a suspicious look but grabbed a cup of coffee.

"God I missed coffee so much when I was pregnant."

"You're already hyper Cal. Don't see why you need it." Eric grinned. Tim snickered.

"Hey you try raising a kid." Alexx said, giving the boys a pointed look. "You'd need lots of coffee too."

"I do raise my kid." Tim retorted.

"He does. He's a very good father." Calleigh added, sliding into the seat next to him.

"Speed, you could use her." Eric said a few seconds later.

"Me?" Calleigh asked.

"Chrissy." Eric replied. "Women go for kids. Single dad, cute kid..."

"You are not using my baby to pick up women Eric." Calleigh said sternly, though a smile was on her face.

"You always spoil my fun." he pouted.

"I'm afraid I'm going to spoil your fun as well."

The four of them jumped, not even seeing Horatio in the room.

"We have a crime scene. Sorry to cut your break short."

"I'll drive." Tim offered. Alexx and Eric exchanged a look. It would have to wait until later.


	4. Chapter 4

Tim opened the door when he heard a knock.

"Can I help you?" he asked, seeing a delivery boy on the porch.

"These are for," the boy read the tag, "Calleigh Duquesne."

"I'll sign off on it." Tim muttered, scribbling his signature on the confirmation paper. He took the bouquet of flowers from the delivery boy and shut the door. Curious, he read the tag and rolled his eyes. 'Mike. Of course.' "Hey Cal!"

"Hold on." she called from upstairs. She came down a few minutes later, Christine in her arms.

"Wanna trade?" Tim asked, gesturing with the flowers.

"Oh they're beautiful." Calleigh sighed. "Who're they from?"

"One guess and it's not me."

"Mike did this? Oh wow." Calleigh gave Christine to Tim and took the flowers. Tim rolled his eyes at Christine and she squealed happily as she grabbed his nose.

"Ow Chrissy..." he rubbed his nose and she grabbed it again. Calleigh smiled at the two of them.

"Hey Tim?"

"What?" he asked nasally, trying to pry Christine's fingers off his nose.

"Do you want some Daddy/Chrissy bonding time tonight?"

"Go. Have fun."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

S/C-------

"I don't know. It's like every day they're going out now." Tim complained to Alexx as he fed Christine, or at least tried to. "How do you feed your kids?"

Alexx laughed over the phone.

"Force them to sit and eat or they won't get dessert."

"That doesn't work here." Tim sighed, setting the spoon down. "I don't blame her for not wanting to eat this shit."

"Hey, she has ears and I'm sure you would be happy, but I don't think Calleigh would like it very much if Chrissy's first word was shit."

"Do you think it serious?"

"Mike and Calleigh? Yeah baby I do."

Tim sighed deeply and picked the spoon up again.

"Come on Chrissy." he moved the spoon closer to her mouth. She turned her head and Tim groaned. "Look princess Daddy likes it."

And Tim shoved the spoon in his mouth.

"Oh holy shit." he mumbled, choking on the goo that Calleigh and every other mother called, 'baby food.' He jumped out of his chair and spit it out in the sink. Christine giggled happily behind him, clapping her chubby hands.

"Eating it would not be a good idea." Alexx laughed. All she heard was Tim gulping down a large glass of water.

"Wow that was nasty." he finally said. "Do you think Calleigh would care if I gave her pizza?"

"Timmy..."

"I know she'll either crap it out or throw it up." he muttered. "What am I going to do?"

"With Christine?"

"No Calleigh!"

"Tim, you love her don't you?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then why are you making such a big fuss?"

"Because if this is the guy that she's going to marry then it's going to happen soon and I'll be pushed out of the picture. I'll just be... that guy that handles my trace evidence at work. I'll be just another name on the Christmas card list."

"Is that why? You don't want her getting married?"

"Partially." Tim muttered, finally being successful in getting a bit of the baby food into Chrissy. "You know I remember a time about a year and a half ago when we were normal friends, when I wasn't getting her pregnant and I miss that. It's not the same anymore."

"Well you guys have a daughter now. It's not all fun and games."

"I mean, she doesn't act the same. It... it seems to... upset her that I'm around."

"It does not Tim. Are you saying you wish this hadn't happened?"

"No. Don't get me wrong, I love Chrissy. It's just... Calleigh seems to think that I'm doing all of this because I don't want to be a jackass and leave her to be a single parent. She's like, 'any day you want to leave you can.' But it's not that. I love being around and helping her raise Chrissy. She doesn't understand that I lo..."

"That you what?"

"That I love her." Tim said miserably.

"Well we finally pulled it out of you." Alexx laughed lightly. "Sugar you have to tell her."

"I can't. She doesn't love me and then I'm going to feel like a real idiot and now Chrissy's sitting here thinking, 'Yes Daddy you're an idiot because that was my baby food you ate and you're making Mommy miserable.'"

"You're not making her miserable! The only one you're making miserable is yourself! Tell her before it's too late Timmy!"

"I feel her slowly drifting away. She told Mike you know, about everything."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He uh... was a bit shocked by it all but he didn't break up with her, sadly."

Tim heard Alexx sigh and he rolled his eyes.

"You're so depressed." she said.

"I'm not depressed." Tim gave up on trying to feed Chrissy and grabbed a bottle out of the refrigerator. "Look, I'd rather her be happy then upset with me."

"Will you just say something to her? For my sake?"

"I'll see if I can fit it into my busy schedule." Tim said sarcastically.

"You know, I don't understand why I even try talking to you. Honey, I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need your help!"

"Okay well when you come crying to me at three in the morning to make me let you sleep on my couch I'll remember this conversation. Bye Speed."

"Bye." he hung up the phone and stared at his daughter. "You know, your mom's wrong. It is complicated."


	5. Chapter 5

Eric walked down the hallway to his bathroom and took a peek at Tim laying on his couch.

"Speed?"

"Yeah?"

"You do know I have a guest room right?"

"I'm fine."

"Suit yourself." Eric mumbled and after finishing up in the bathroom, went back to bed. Tim sighed as he stared at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. Not after the past day he had had.

S/C------

"_Nice of you to come home." Tim said, seeing Calleigh at the kitchen table. _

"_I'm sorry. Next time I won't break curfew Daddy." she joked. Tim nodded and sat down across from her. "Was she good?" _

"_No. I couldn't feed her and then she wouldn't go to bed." _

"_Oh. She was asleep when I got home." _

"_Yeah? When was that? 20 minutes ago?" _

"_Tim, stop." _

"_Is this how it's going to be Calleigh? You going out with Mike every night of the week while I'm stuck at home with the baby?" _

"_You make it sound like taking care of your daughter is a chore."_

"_Calleigh, I had a life too before everything got screwed up. But I've made adjustments to accompany our new life. You, on the other hand, act like nothing is different. You get to go out on dates every night. I don't think I've seen another woman besides you in... seven months." _

"_That's your fault." _

"_It's not my fault. You always leave me with her." _

"_Then hire a baby-sitter or stop being here! I told you that you don't have to have anything to do with us." _

"_Why? So then I look like a jerk and you tell your mother, who already hates me, that I don't do anything to help you with Chrissy? You don't get it Calleigh." _

"_Get what?" _

"_How much she means to me! You think I'm doing this to be nice. I'm not. If I didn't want to be here, taking care of her and... and... and being here for everything then I'd leave. I like... no I love being around her." _

"_Then what are you complaining about?" _

"_I'm sick of you acting like she's a toy or something!" Tim exclaimed. _

"_I do not!" _

S/C------

They had fought for what felt like hours but finally Tim walked out, not knowing he had left Calleigh in a heap of hysterics. He thought she didn't get it but she thought he didn't get it either.

'Stop thinking about her!' Tim yelled to himself. 'She doesn't love you so get over it! Stop acting like some lovesick teenager and find someone else to love.'

But Tim didn't want someone else. He wanted Calleigh.

S/C------

Calleigh tossed and turned in bed that night and went into Christine's room. She was sleeping peacefully and Calleigh sighed as she watched her. The seven month old had no idea what was going on. Calleigh reached out and pulled the thin blanket further up Christine. She stared at her daughter in awe, stroking her dark curls softly. It amazed Calleigh that the baby had not been planned, had been a total accident, and she had been scared to death when her doctor called and said she was pregnant but she couldn't picture her life without her and loved her so much. She just wished Chrissy's stubborn father would realize that she loved him too.

S/C------

"Did you talk to her?" Alexx asked. Tim shook his head. "Oh you didn't find time?"

"Yeah I did but we ended up fighting. I uh... left."

"So you just left?"

"Yeah. I'm living with Delko. I need to go get my stuff after work. Actually I'm gonna go now so I don't have to deal with her."

"Tim, are you alright?"

"I blamed her of being a bad mother." he said quietly. "Even though she's the best. I was just angry."

Tim suddenly stood up and grabbed a pen off the counter of the break room and a piece of paper. He wrote something down and then walked out, leaving the paper there. Alexx looked at it and was shocked to see what she was reading.

_Horatio,_

_This is a letter of my resignation. It's not much but I hope you understand. If not, Alexx will most likely explain my problems to you. Please don't come after me. I just really want to be left alone for a while. I know it takes two weeks for this to go into effect but I'm leaving in three days. When I leave, I'll take a leave of absence until my two weeks are up. It has been an honor working for you and I'll miss you. You've been a wonderful mentor for me all of these years and I thank you for all that you've taught me. _

_Tim Speedle_

S/C--------

Tim knocked on Calleigh's door and smiled slightly at Valera when she opened the door.

"Uh... I just need to get some stuff."

"Yeah that's fine." Valera let him past her. "Tim?"

"Yeah?"

"I really don't think you should just give up on her like this."

"Val..."

"Tim, you don't understand. You think you do but you don't." Valera went and sat down in the living room. Tim stared at her for a second then went upstairs to his bedroom. He packed everything and began to walk downstairs when something stopped him. Christine was standing up in her crib, gripping the railing tightly. Tim dropped his bags in the hallway and walked into the nursery.

"Hey..." he smiled. Christine opened her mouth like she was going to say something but closed it. "I'm sorry I'm walking out on you like this but... I don't think I can handle being around your mom much longer. I'm just... speeding up the inevitable."

"Da."

Tim stared at Christine, his mouth agape.

"What?"

"Da." Christine repeated. Tim felt himself getting choked up and scolded himself for being such a sap. "Da. Da. Da. Da."

"Smart kid." Tim smirked, ruffling her hair. "I love your mom a lot Chrissy. More than she can even imagine. I love you a lot too. Maybe she'll figure out where I am and keep me posted on you or she can be a total b–witch and let you forget who I am, which I'm sure she'll do. Mike's a good guy, apparently. But he can't top me."

Christine squealed with delight and Tim smiled, kissing her forehead. Then he walked out. He paused for a second and entered Calleigh's room. He went into her closet and grabbed the baby book off one of the shelves. Tim skimmed through the pages and found what he was looking for and grabbed the pen that was hooked to the cover.

_First word: Da... what the hell else did you expect Calleigh? _

Tim put an envelope in the page and put the book back and closed the closet. He went downstairs and Valera pretended like she hadn't heard the conversation between the father and daughter.

S/C------

Calleigh entered a quiet house that night, which was odd. Sometimes Tim would be home before her and he and Christine would be having a good time.

"Hey." she said quietly. Valera smiled and looked at Calleigh.

"Hey. I'll get going."

Christine lifted her head off Valera's chest and looked at Calleigh too. She frowned and said,

"Da."

Calleigh's eyes lit up.

"Oh my God!" she squealed. "How long has she been saying that?"

"Since Tim left." Valera replied casually.

"He was here?"

"Cleared his room out."

"Oh. Well... anyway I have to go write that down. Can you just stay a couple more minutes?"

"Yeah." Valera nodded. Calleigh disappeared upstairs to her room and grabbed the baby book out. She saw the envelope Tim left earlier and opened it, reading the letter.

_Calleigh,_

_Soon you'll be realizing I'm writing this letter to you and maybe you'll be wishing I'm not gone. But I doubt that. I hope you're very happy the rest of your life. These past sixteen months have been wonderful, even though you think I'm lying. You gave me something I never thought would happen, our daughter. I love her more than you think and I'm truly going to miss her. Raise her good and good luck with Mike. _

_Tim_

Calleigh stared at the letter and placed it on the bed. She picked the pen up, ready to write and smiled, seeing Tim beat her to the punch.


	6. Chapter 6

A year later...

"...don't understand why you just don't call her!"

Tim sighed, listening to his mother rant.

"Because it's complicated."

"Your daughter is not complicated."

"She's not my daughter." Tim muttered.

"I don't want to hear you talking like that Timothy!"

"Well not anymore at least." he added, ignoring his mother. Karen Speedle glared at her son.

"Why do you have to be such an idiot?"

"Does she ever stop?" Tim asked, looking at his father. Jack shrugged and Karen smacked him.

"Call her. Tim, it won't hurt to call."

"Yes it will."

"Why are you a coward?"

"I am not."

Karen rolled her eyes and reached over Jack to get a letter.

"This came for you. Someone obviously figured out you were here." she said. "But I don't know why they sent it to my house."

"Because no one has my address." Tim muttered, reading the return address. What would Eric be sending him?

"You know you wonder why no one hangs out with you?"

"Why are you acting like I'm ten again? I'm 33!"

"Well you never call, never e-mail... it's like you dropped off the face of the earth Tim and all because of some girl!" Karen exclaimed. Tim opened the envelope and groaned, seeing it wasn't a letter but a wedding invitation. "Is it Calleigh's?"

"Well... unless Calleigh changed her name to Maxine Valera and is marrying Eric Delko then yes." he said sarcastically.

"Don't get fresh with me young man!" Karen scolded.

"I'm going to work. Thanks for breakfast."

"You didn't eat!"

"Bye Mom." Tim kissed her cheek.

"Tim, eat something for God's sake! You're so skinny! Are you going at least?"

"To where?"

"Eric's wedding!"

"No."

"Tim, you're his best friend."

"Doesn't mean I have to go."

"You know, I don't understand why I even try talking to you. Honey, I'm trying to help you."

"You know Alexx said the same thing." Tim smirked.

"Well she's a smart woman!" Karen smiled. Tim sighed, took the invitation, and left.

S/C------

"I can't believe how depressed you got because of some girl!" Karen huffed.

"Why am I here?" Tim asked.

"Because you need to eat! You live off McDonald's! You need more than pre-processed greasy shit! Besides, the family is getting together."

"Great."

"Tim, you have to let it go."

"Mom, you don't understand."

"I met Calleigh. But I don't understand why you just didn't say I love you to her. She's a nice girl Timmy."

"Of course she is. She gave you a granddaughter, whom may I remind you only exists because I got drunk and had no idea what the hell I was doing."

I would love to have her as my daughter-in-law." Karen went on like her son had never spoken.

"And I would love to have her as my wife but it's not going to happen. Are we still having the same conversation from when I moved back? When was that... like in the Stone Age?"

"I don't like when you get fresh with me! You know, I have seen Christine since she was born."

"Am I going to wiggle my fingers and magically make her appear?"

"Maybe you should start acting more like a father."

"Maybe you should butt out of my life."

"Timothy! I swear if you act this way to your uncle and grandmother then I'm going to..."

"Ground me?" he taunted.

"Ooh get out of my kitchen!" Karen exclaimed. Tim snickered and walked out of the house.

S/C-------

In Miami a few weeks later...

Eric looked around and saw Tim exit the terminal.

"Speed!"

Tim's head snapped up, hearing his nickname for the first time in a long time.

"Eric!" he grinned, hugging him tightly. "How's it going?"

"Good. You look tired."

"I just pulled a double then got on my flight." Tim yawned. "So Valera huh?"

"Yeah." Eric smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Yeah I'm sure you are."

"How's Christine?"

"She's good. She got big and doesn't stop talking, though most of it we can't understand."

S/C-------

"Look who I found wandering the streets." Eric smirked, walking into the break room. Alexx jumped up, hugging Tim tightly.

"Oh I can't believe you left!" she screeched. "I thought you would change your mind!"

"No I like it up in Syracuse. I have a good team. Of course you guys are way better than them." Tim smiled, moving onto Horatio. They shook hands and Horatio pulled him into a fatherly hug.

"You alright?" he asked. Tim nodded. Horatio saw the lying look in his eyes and made a mental note to talk to him later.

"Where is uh..."

"Where do you think?" Horatio smiled. Tim smirked and suddenly he couldn't moved. He didn't want to go down to Ballistics. "I think she'll shoot you when she realizes you were here and didn't say hi."

Tim nodded and went down to the lab. Calleigh was sitting there, hunched over paperwork, her hair cascading over her left shoulder. She took his breath away.

"You shouldn't sit like that." Tim finally said. "Turn into a hunchback."

Calleigh squeaked and looked up. He gave her a smile and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Hey."

"H-Hi. What are you uh... doing here?"

"Eric's wedding." Tim replied. "How are you?"

"Good. How are you?"

"I can't complain."

Calleigh nodded.

"That's good." she said. "So you work for Syracuse PD now?"

"Yeah." Tim nodded, glancing at her hand. No ring. Good. "How's Chrissy?"

"She's good. You can see her tonight if you want..."

"Yeah, I'd uh... I'd like that."

S/C-------

Calleigh unlocked her front door and led Tim into the house.

"Mom? I'm home." she called. Elizabeth Duquesne walked out and looked shocked to see Tim.

"Hi." he said quietly.

"She's in the living room." Elizabeth said, ignoring Tim. "I gave her a bath already."

"Thanks." Calleigh smiled slightly and her mother left. She looked at Tim and saw the frightened look on his face. "Go ahead."

They walked into the living room and Tim sighed slowly. Calleigh sunk down on the floor next to Christine and she looked up at her.

"Momma!" she jumped into Calleigh's lap and hugged her tightly. "Dora!"

Chrissy pointed at the TV.

"Yes I see Dora. Is that Boots with her?" Calleigh smiled. Chrissy nodded, then saw Tim lingering in the doorway. Why wasn't it like this already? Why wasn't he coming home from a long day at the lab and come home and see the two of them sitting in the living room, watching TV? Calleigh followed her daughter's stare and stood up, cradling the girl to her hip. Chrissy buried her head in Calleigh's shoulder and Tim smiled slightly. "Chrissy, you remember him?"

She shook her head.

"Well... this is Daddy."

"Daddy?" Christine repeated slowly. Calleigh nodded. "Hi."

"Hi." Tim smiled.

"Can Daddy hold you while Mommy get's dinner ready?" Calleigh asked. Christine stared at Tim, their identical eyes meeting. She saw she could trust him and nodded. Tim quickly took his daughter into his arms and Calleigh saw the content look on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

Eric walked into the break room and saw Tim sitting there.

"Hey, I uh... need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I um... I know it's kind of short notice but... well uh... would you be my best man?"

"Really?" Tim looked honored. "Eric I, yeah. Of course."

"Okay then you have to be at the rehearsal dinner tonight." he said, running a hand through his hair. "I can't believe this is actually happening."

"I'd console you but I've never gotten married before." Tim smirked. "You do want to be with Valera right?"

"More than anything. You don't understand. She means the world to me. I love her so much and I... I guess I just never thought she'd go for a guy like me but here we are two days away from our wedding. I'm just... worried she'll change her mind."

"The only way that's going to happen is if Hell freezes over."

Eric smiled slightly and nodded as the door opened.

"Eric, I need to ask you something."

Tim sighed to himself, hearing Mike Hoffman's voice.

"Yeah uh... you remember Tim Speedle right?"

Mike nodded.

"Yeah. How did you propose to Maxine?"

"I said, 'hey let's get hitched.' Why?"

"Well, between the three of us," Mike smiled. "I'm gonna ask Calleigh to marry me."

Tim felt his heart stop and Eric glanced at him worriedly.

"Uh... Max slapped me after I said 'hey let's get hitched.' So I went for the slightly more romantic approach, one knee, will you marry me blah blah blah stuff. When are you gonna ask her?"

"During your wedding." Mike said. "Do you know where she is? She asked me to pick her up."

"Ballistics." the boys said together. Mike stared at them oddly but nodded.

"You can't go down there though." Tim said. "Personnel only. I'll go get her for you."

"Alright. Hey, not a word right?" Mike smiled.

"Yeah sure." Tim walked out and leaned against the wall, trying to catch his breath. He had come back and everything was going downhill. Tim finally started for Ballistics and Calleigh was in the firing range. He waited until she was done and she smiled when she saw him.

"Hi. Chrissy was asking for you this morning."

"I'll see her later. Calleigh, we uh..." _'Find your courage Speed.' _he thought. _'Just tell her.'_ "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Do you love Mike?"

Calleigh was taken aback.

"Yeah I do. Why?"

"I uh... no reason. I just... want to make sure that he treats you and Chrissy good."

"Yes. He's wonderful to both of us. He can't top you with your own special way but yes he's good to me." Calleigh was touched by Tim's caring ways.

"Okay. I just... wanted to make sure." he mumbled, feeling like an idiot. "He's up in the break room by the way."

"Okay. I'll be right there." Calleigh smiled.

S/C-------

"I don't know what to tell her." Tim mumbled. Alexx patted his shoulder sympathetically. "I don't want them getting married but she loves Mike. And I... if I say something I'm going to feel like a complete idiot."

"What people say and feel are two different things Timmy. Just tell her. Maybe you'll get the reaction you're hoping for. Maybe you won't but at least you said something."

Tim nodded, then realized they were standing in the morgue, an opened body in front of them.

"I'll uh... let you finish." he smirked humourously. Alexx smiled. "I'll see you at the rehearsal."

"Mhmm. Bye Tim."

"Bye Alexx."

Tim went out into the hallway, heading back to the break room and realized Alexx said the most helpful things.

S/C-------

Two days later...

Tim bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. He had two days to tell her and what did he do? Wait till the last minute, as always. Now Calleigh was nowhere to be found and Tim was afraid he was too late.

"Hey handsome, you look a little lost." a seductive southern accent drawled. Tim glanced over his shoulder and gave a relieved smile, seeing Calleigh behind him. "Dance with me."

Tim relented and wrapped an arm around Calleigh's waist and taking o0ne of her hands in his. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"What?"

"I..."

Calleigh paused when she felt a tap on her leg. She glanced down and smiled, seeing Christine there.

"Up!" she smiled at Tim.

"I think you've been asked to leave." he smirked, giving Calleigh a look.

"You owe me a dance Speedle." she smiled as Tim picked Christine up. Calleigh stepped away and watched tearfully as Tim danced with Chrissy, occasionally whispering something in her ear. Why weren't things like this now? She hadn't felt anything for Tim in a long time but slowly, everything was coming back to her.

"What's with the tears?" Alexx asked. Calleigh nodded over at Tim and Chrissy. "Aww... I want a picture."

The girls laughed as Alexx snapped a picture and she looked over at Calleigh.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just... I don't know. I'm really confused right now."

"About what?"

"Just things..." Calleigh really didn't want to go into it. Alexx gave her a knowing smile and walked away as the song ended. Tim walked over, Chrissy still in his arms. "Honey, I need to talk to Daddy for a few minutes."

"No." Chrissy whined, clinging to Tim. He chuckled and kissed her cheek.

"I need to talk with Mommy. You want to sit with Aunt Alexx?"

Christine pondered this, then nodded.

"Calleigh, honey!" Mike walked over, a big smile on his face. "Can you spare a few minutes?"

"Uh..."

Tim felt his courage slipping away and nodded.

"Go ahead." he muttered. Calleigh let Mike pull her away and Tim a hand through his hair, knowing the next time he saw Calleigh, she'd have a ring on her finger and it wouldn't be from him. He didn't know why but he was doing it again. He walked over to Eric, tapping him on the shoulder lightly.

"What's up?" he asked, then saw Tim's dejected look. "Oh... I'm sorry man."

"Yeah um... I um... I'm going. Congratulations. You guys will be really happy together." he said quietly.

"Thanks Tim." Eric nodded, hugging him tightly. Valera sighed and hugged Tim as he kissed her cheek.

"You gonna run away from your problems again?" she asked.

"It's the only way I get over it." Tim mumbled. Valera grabbed his hand and gave him a pleading look.

"Tim..."

"Valera, look I'm really happy for you guys. I gave my little celebration... I'm going back home."

"I thought this was your home." Horatio piped up. "Everything you love is here."

Tim glanced over his shoulder to where Christine was sitting on Alexx's lap.

"I got over it the first time. I'll get over it again. Bye guys."

"Speed..."

"Tim, wait,"

"Don't act like this..."

Complaints burst out from his three friends and they looked at each other, not knowing whether they should say more. Tim shook his head and walked over to where Alexx was.

"I'm going." he said quietly.

"Timmy, why don't you stay?"

He looked away from Chrissy and up at Alexx and she was shocked to see tears brimming in his eyes.

"I can't."

"Stop being stubborn."

Tim ignored her and swallowed his tears, giving Christine a fake smile.

"Listen, I gotta go alright?"

"No." Christine shook her head.

"Hey, I don't want to go but I have to."

"No you don't." Alexx said quietly. "Tim, you left her once... don't do it again."

"She won't remember me in a couple of weeks." he laughed lightly, hugging Christine tightly. "I love you Chrissy. Okay?"

She nodded and started crying. Alexx gave Tim a look and he pushed his tears away again. He kissed Christine on her cheek and left the room. Tim gave a shaky sigh and began heading out to the parking lot.

"...will you just stop!"

"No. Why won't you answer me?"

"Ow Mike stop it! You're hurting my wrist!"

Tim knew Calleigh's voice anywhere and quickly headed towards her.

"Hey!"

Mike turned towards Tim, who had a deadly glare in his eyes.

"Tim..." Calleigh sounded relieved.

"Get the hell away from her." he ordered.

"Why don't you mind your own business?" Mike spat.

"She is my business now let her go."

"Tim..."

"Shut up Calleigh." Mike ordered. "I'll deal with him."

"Leave him alone!" she exclaimed but Mike ignored her and roughly let go of her, making her lose her balance. He walked over to Tim and glared at him.

"Leave us alone."

"I'm not leaving her alone until I know you're away from her so get the hell out of here."

"You don't know what this is about."

"Yeah I do. She won't give you an answer to your proposal so you have to get rough with her? No... you want to take hit her, you start with me got it?"

"You walk in here like you're her knight in shining armor or some shit." Mike sneered. "You're not. So just turn around and go back to your little party with your stupid friends."

"You can't order him around." Calleigh had got back on her feet and was walking towards them. "You know what? I'd rather be with him any day because he's twice the man that you'll ever be. And my answer to your lame proposal is no."

Mike slapped her across the face. Calleigh cried out in pain and Tim punched him in the jaw.

"You better get out of here before I give you more than a bruise." he warned. "And don't think that I won't."

Mike opened his mouth like he was going to say something but walked off. Tim knelt down next to Calleigh and turned her face towards him gently.

"You okay?"

Calleigh nodded and Tim helped her to her feet. She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back.

"Thanks Tim."

"I'd do anything for you."

Calleigh looked up at him and he dipped his head, meeting her lips in a soft kiss.

"Mmm... you know that thing I had to talk to you about?" she smiled. Tim nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they walked back to the reception. "I wanted to tell you that I love you. That I have and for the past two years practically I've wanted to say something but I haven't."

"Funny. I had to tell you the same."

"Really?"

"Yep. I love you Calleigh." Tim leaned down and kissed her tenderly. Calleigh wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled them closer together.

"So uh... are you staying?"

"Do you want me to?" Tim asked, resting his forehead against Calleigh's.

"More than anything." she kissed him deeply, neither wanting to let the other go.

"About time." the CSI team muttered, watching from the window.

the end


End file.
